Archive for the ‘smoking’ Category

What would I give for a cigarette at the moment?

June 2, 2007

I don’t really know. I just know it’s a very fine thing that it’s an hour’s drive┬áto town and that I had the good sense to smoke all of those that I had before I became a non-smoker.

It’s now 8+ days without tobacco smoke.

Not without nicotine–I bought some of the lozenges when I flew back east with my brother. They kept me from going insane in airports and on planes, so I thought they might work longer term. And they seem to, although I’m not following the prescribed program of huge amounts slowly decreasing over 12 weeks. I just want to be done with this, so I started small and am getting smaller each day.

But they seem to work. So far I’ve resisted the urge to cram everything within sight into my mouth, and although I’ve occasionally been a bit pecky, I haven’t taken anyone’s head totally off yet. And I’m even sane enough to recognize when I’m being peckish and back off. Amazing.

So for the moment I’m working on trying to retrain myself. I think maybe I’m not one of those people who needs to change every habit they’ve got to quit smoking. I like my habits. I just need to learn to enjoy them without a cigarette in my hand.

So I’m doing the same old things for work breaks–sitting on the back deck laughing at the hummingbirds, slumped back in a chair under a mid-size fir by the garden, puttering around the potting bench. I’m just doing these things without tobacco and hoping that in the not too distant future, I won’t even miss it.

And when it gets too bad, a glass with a little ice, a lot of Scotch whiskey, and a sprinkling of spring water is amazingly calming. But only after 4 p.m. I have my standards, after all.